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    Dateworking Podcast

    practical wisdom for navigating our dating & relationship ecosystems

  • Steve Dean, Host, Modern Connection Podcast

    I'm Steve Dean, and I'm on a quest to uncover the philosophies and practices that help us stay connected to one another and feel deeply grounded in a world where relationships, norms, expectations, jobs, housing, and even facts are constantly in flux.

    • How do we live well, and connect fully during our short lives on this fragile planet?
    • How can we use practical wisdom across all the relationships of our lives?
    • How can we reimagine our thoughts, relationships and values at a time when society itself is being reimagined every day?

    These questions inspire and guide me every day of my life.

  • Episode 6
    How to Find Your People (ft. Laurie Gerber, Life Coach @ Handel Group)

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    Laurie Gerber has been coaching individuals and groups for over 15 years. She specializes in relationship and marriage coaching and is the #1 marriage and relationship coach based in NYC. She spreads her message of empowerment through public speaking events, such as the 2019 TedX Brooklyn, live international events, one-on-one coaching, virtual coaching courses, and on radio and in TV appearances


    Laurie and I have both spent years helping people with their dating and relationship lives. Laurie approaches with a more rigorous coaching methodology as practiced by the Handel Group, while I take my own startuppy, community-based, rapid-iteration approach to helping people. In this episode, Laurie and I compare our methods and strategies, and we really try to answer the question, “How do you find your person?"


    Laurie introduces a framework she uses that involves making a love history chart, which I absolutely love. I used to recommend that people use excel to map out their relationships, so we’re both on the same page when it comes to taking the time and doing the work to really vision board our relationships, which starts with taking inventory of our past relationships and setting intentions for the future.


    We also touch on some topics that don’t necessarily have tried-and true answers, like how to build a relationship when your geography or context makes things feel untenable. Laurie and I definitely disagreed on some big things, like the role that sex plays in the early stages of dating, but I really love how we managed to navigate these topics together during this show.




  • Episode 5

    From Crippling Loneliness to Modern Superconnector


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    Special Guest: Helen Tsim
    Helen Tsim is a community builder, coach, and entrepreneur who's working to empower the world with the skills, opportunities, and tribe to help people form meaningful connections with themselves, their communities, and the planet.
    In this episode, we talk about the foundational building blocks of human connection, how to overcome crippling social anxiety to become a superconnector, and what the modern limits of connection look and feel like. We also discuss our favorite tools and practices for modern connection.
  • Episode 4
    One Algorithm to Help 50 Million People Find Love


      Photo credit: https://narratively.com/the-code-of-love/

      Special Guest: Tom Quisel


      Tom Quisel is the former CTO of OkCupid and former engineering manager at Stellar. As of january 2019, Tom became the VP of engineering at the Stellar Development Foundation.


      In this episode, Tom and I discuss:

      • How Tom got his start working at OkCupid, one of the most popular dating sites in the world
      • The efforts Tom and the OkCupid team went through to help reduce bias in dating apps
      • Experiments OkCupid has done to better understand just how superficial modern daters are
      • OkCupid's discovery that we are, in fact, absurdly superficial
      • The surreal story of how I introduced Tom to his fiancé.
      • Tom’s post-OkCupid career in healthtech and IoT, using apple watch and fitbit data to predict conditions like diabetes and multiple sclerosis
      • Tom's subsequent foray into the cryptosphere, building products that empower individuals to send cross-border payments without those exorbitant fees, enabling low income individuals to more easily send money to their relatives in other countries
      • Ideal strategies for sending first messages in online dating
      • Strategies for dating in small towns vs. in cities
      • Whether Facebook's new dating app dating will make a meaningful difference in the dating industry
    • Episode 3
      Using Theory of Mind in Dating & Life

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      Special Guest: Anne Coleman


      Anne Coleman is a Philadelphia-based educator and developmental psychology researcher who spent 7 years teaching high school English and Theater before she transitioned into research at the University of Pennsylvania. Her work examines the development of Theory of Mind —also known as perspective-taking — in adults, with the hope of better understanding how teachers use informal psychology in the classroom.


      When she is not teaching or conducting research, she can be found romping with her rescue dog, directing plays for a community theater group, and moonlighting as a speechwriter for a congressional campaign.

      You can follow Anne's adventures on Instagram at @AnneHLColeman


      In this episode, Anne and I discuss her response to a question I recently posed about people's biggest struggle in dating. Anne's response was most upvoted!

    • Episode 2
      Online Dating Insights:
      Profile Photos & Messaging Strategies

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      Special Guest: Max Alley
      Max Alley is a former employee at the world-renown dating app Coffee Meets Bagel and the founder of MatchUp Online Dating Coaching.
      In this episode, Max and I go head to head as two dating consultants, sharing our best tips and strategies for profile design, profile photos, first messages, and the most common pitfalls people run into when they get started with online dating.
    • Episode 1
      How to Deepen Connection in Everyday Relationships

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      Special Guest: Amelia Broughton


      Amelia Broughton is a connection savant, having trained for years in the art and science of interpersonal connection. In this episode, we explore what types of connection are missing from modern society and how to reconnect in ways that are so simple, yet so critically overlooked by most people alive today.